


Seeking Solace

by Kaunis_Sielu



Category: Marvel, Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-12-08
Updated: 2017-12-08
Packaged: 2019-02-12 07:36:36
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,025
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12954447
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Kaunis_Sielu/pseuds/Kaunis_Sielu
Summary: Visiting Bucky in the woods leads to discovery





	Seeking Solace

He was remembering. You could see it in his eyes when you’d visit the cabin every weekend. You and Steve were the only two Bucky would let in, even if you did have to coax him to open the door sometimes. Making your way up the steep incline to the cabin you tap on the front door.   
“Bucky? Are you home?”  
“No.” Comes his muffled reply and you bite back a grin.   
“Well if you’re not home I’m gonna have to call Steve because I’ve been given explicit orders not to go in the cabin alone if you’re not here.” He’ll open the door in 3-2-1 it pops open and you see him looking worse than last weekend. You don’t think he’s showered since Sunday. You know he hasn’t shaved. “Hey Buck.” You say brightly brushing past him and into the cabin, which doesn’t look much better than he does.   
“Why are you here?”   
“Because I care about you.” More like are falling in love with him but you’ll just keep that to yourself. “Why don’t you go change into the swim trunks I got you and I’ll start a bath for you. You can relax and I’ll tidy this place up a little then we’ll get you cleaned up.”  
“You don’t have to do this. You can go home.” This has been happening weekly as well. Him insisting he doesn’t need help.   
“Nah. I’ve got nobody to hang out with at home. Go.” You point to the bedroom without looking as you head to the bathroom. He likes the water scalding, probably because the heat from the water warms up his arm. You hear him come back into the room and you throw some lavender and rosemary into the water and he climbs into the deep tub. “I’ll be back in a little bit.” You promise as he gets settled, you leave the room and start cleaning the rest of the cabin while dialing Steve on your cell.   
“Is everything okay? Are you okay?” He asks seeing your name on his screen.   
“I’m fine. I don’t know what’s going on with Bucky. Steve he’s not taking care of himself or the cabin. I don’t think he’s showered since I left on Sunday.”   
“What do you want to do?” He asks sounding stressed.   
“I don’t know.” You bite your lip, “I could take some time off. Stay a few days longer.”  
“You wouldn’t mind?”  
“Not at all. I can only stay until Wednesday though.”  
“I’ll come on Thursday and stay the weekend. It’d be nice if he’d let someone else in the cabin.”  
“With time maybe he will.” You’ve finished putting the dishes in the dishwasher and have started it. “I just wanted to check in. I’ll call you if anything changes.”  
“Okay. Thanks.” You hang up then and head back to the bathroom. You grab the large cup on the counter and fill it with fresh water. You feel Bucky’s eyes on you as you bring the cup toward his head. He tilts his head back and you pour a couple cups of fresh water on his hair.   
“Pull the plug please. I don’t want to overflow the tub.” You put your phone on the counter then grab the shampoo. You hop onto the back ledge of the tub one leg on either side of his large shoulders and work the shampoo into his hair. The water is still hot but you’re able to stick your legs in the water and not be uncomfortable. He fills the cup with water this time, passing it back to you to rinse the shampoo out of his hair. You love his hair when it’s clean, it’s so soft under your fingers that it’s easy to forget that there’s nothing soft about the man that it belongs to. You run some conditioner through his hair then pass him a loofa with soap on it. He goes through the motions seeming lost in his own head. You rinse the conditioner out of his hair then start to slip your legs out of the tub. He catches your far foot before you can go anywhere.  
“Why do you do this?” He asks softly.   
“Because, I care about you and I don’t want to hang out with a smelly man all weekend.” You tease. “Do you want a shave?”  
“You don’t have to.” He says in that same soft voice.   
“I know.” You respond, “so, a shave?”   
“Okay.”   
“Get dressed and we can do it in the kitchen, and I think your hair could use a trim.” He doesn’t talk again until after you get some food in him and he’s on the couch watching tv. You drop down next to him, on the side of his metal arm, and curl into him.   
“I’ve killed people you know.” He says.   
“I know.”  
“Lots of people.” His voice rumbles through you.  
“Mmhmm.”  
“I’m a monster.”  
“No. You’re not.” You turn and face him, “you’re not a monster. You’re a man.”  
“You should be afraid of me.”  
“I’m not.”  
“Why?”  
“You didn’t choose to do any of those things. You were forced to I know what Hydra does. I’ve met them. They’re the monsters.”  
“You’ve met Hydra?” He asks pulling away from you to look down at your face.   
“Yea. They’ve got tainted fish oil out on the market. It killed my best friend, turned her into a pile of dust but it was supposed to do something else to me. Hydra came and tried to figure out what. I still don’t know. I look and feel the same as always.”   
“What did they do to you?” He sounds sad, looking up at him you see it in his eyes.   
“Less than they did to you. Steve saved me before it got too bad.” He does something then that surprises you. He pulls you back to him. He wraps both arms around you and holds you tightly, but gently, against him. You don’t move just shift slightly so you can get your arms around his waist, this is what he’s been looking for. Something to hold onto. Someone to take comfort in. Solace.


End file.
